Wayne Rooney - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 12 February 2012

I told the press guys that I'd relish the job of bein' the England captain.

Some git of a Nottingham bloke there mentioned, me £1000 a night high-class prossies Helen Woods, un Jennifer Thompson, the missus Coleen, me sending off's from games, me swearing and gesticulations at TV cameras, me venting his frustration at referee Graham Poll in a match against Arsenal, un me gerrin' caught swearing on camera at least twenty times durin' the match, mw stamping on Ricardo Carvalho head, un me elbowing Wigan's James McCarthy in the face.

Then asked if I thought I would be a good example as the England Captain?

He wus just nit-pickin!"