Wayne Rooney - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

The press have pointed out that I didn't score against Arsenal.

Well? I don't suppose that Valencia or Welbeck have had bother from a £1000 a time slapper's solicitor pestering them all week.

I suppose I should try to score in the next match though, just to keep my sponsoring lot like Nike, Asda, Coca-Cola and EA Sports happy.

After all, they have helped me to become the forth richest player, just behind Robbie Fowler, Michael Owen, and golden boy Dave Beckham.