Tom Cruise - My Fake Diary

Friday, 20 May 2016

Dear Diary-
Wow, my mentor David Miscarriage's father wrote a savage pack of lies about him! At least that's what Mr. Miscarriage told me. I still remember the day he told him I could call him David when no one else was around. I guess because we're the only two Big Beings left now that Elron has gone to Terminal Two.

Anyways, Little Davey is shitting bricks and he hasn't even read it yet! I'm going to have to take a couple of days off so I can finish reading it.

Me