Tom Cruise - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 24 June 2015

June 24, 2015

Dear Diary,

I received a call from Fasio Klint of Scientology headquarters. They want me to do another commercial.

I don't get them. This is the third this year. I told them the public doesn't like Scientology, and it's effecting my reputation. But that's not the problem.

They want me to do a Ron Hubbard commercial where I play Ron. I'm too damn short, but that's not the problem.

I told them I don't believe in him or Scientology any more since there's a chance the government is going to change the tax status. It's tax-exempt now, but they say it's a sham, and bye-bye non-exempt status. That' means I've got to pay more taxes. And that's the problem.

Dear Diary, help. Get me a good tax man.