Tom Cruise - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 24 July 2012

Dear Diary -

It looks like this divorce thing isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Yes, it hurts like hell; kinda like having Wynonna Judd or Kirstie Alley step on your bare feet with a pair of high heeled boots.

Katie has no idea that I am going to do my very best to see to it that I get full custody of Suri.

I just got off the phone with my attorney Ginger Allred and she informed me that it may cost me about $135,000 in legal fees but that she is 97 percent certain that Suri will end up with me.

And when she does I am pulling out all the stops and buying her a pony, a giraffe, an ostrich, and a Barbie and Ken Toy Condominium valued at $900.

I can hear little Katie now whining and weeping like a spoiled little girl. Well like they say in North Dakota, "What goes around, comes around."

-Tom Cruise


Previous Dates Next Dates

« Full list of Spoof Celebrity Diaries

Send to a friend

Tell your friends about The Spoof!

Go to top
75 readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more