Tom Cruise - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 24 July 2012

Dear Diary -

It looks like this divorce thing isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Yes, it hurts like hell; kinda like having Wynonna Judd or Kirstie Alley step on your bare feet with a pair of high heeled boots.

Katie has no idea that I am going to do my very best to see to it that I get full custody of Suri.

I just got off the phone with my attorney Ginger Allred and she informed me that it may cost me about $135,000 in legal fees but that she is 97 percent certain that Suri will end up with me.

And when she does I am pulling out all the stops and buying her a pony, a giraffe, an ostrich, and a Barbie and Ken Toy Condominium valued at $900.

I can hear little Katie now whining and weeping like a spoiled little girl. Well like they say in North Dakota, "What goes around, comes around."

-Tom Cruise