Ray Mears - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 27 February 2008

Because I slipped and fell onto some goats, Ozzie looked very sheepish whe he opened the hatch of the conning tower. The brightness of the sun was dazzling and I had to squint to protect them for a while.

"A thousand apologies again, I didn't mean to call you infidel, but I've got to keep up appearances - especially in front of the rest of the crew. He said apologetically.

"Welcome to my own paradise!" The sub was in the middle of an oasis surrounded by date palms, swimming pools, food laden tables and 72 deck chairs - each one occuppied by a virgin.

"These are my wives" he proudly pointed.

"Now which way's Mecca? I'll leave you chat with Ralphie for a while, I shall have to go and pray!"