Ray Mears - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 24 February 2008

We sat down and had a good talk... he seems a thoroughly nice bloke. His beard is much longer and blacker than his Al Jazeera appearances. One of the crew brought in platters of sumptuous food and roast goat. It was really nice.

I told him that I wondered why he was described as the 'Mother of all Terrorists' and he replied

"It's those Americans - they always exaggerate!"

"Well I think they do." I replied.

"These hooves are chewy." he said

"Not as bad as penguin's feet." I replied

"So how come you're up here?" I asked

"OH I needed to get out of that cave because it was getting quite dusty and I've an image to keep up as 'a deadly assassin' who is untraceable - not even Bush knows the truth."