Ray Mears - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 4 March 2008

"Yep! I'm a stowaway, but I have a hidden agenda (what politician worth his salt doesn't?) to expose the evil Osama for what he is."

"and what is he?" I asked.

"He seems quite nice. much nicer than Bush!"

"What do you plan to do then?"

"I'm going to provoke him into doing something bad." said Nader.

"I've tried to point the sub away from Mecca numerous times, but every time, five times a day it points due East. It's as though it's automatically programmed to do that!"

"hmmmmmmmm.... well I've just had a really bad thought."

"What's that?" Nader's nose became somewhat pointier and his ears pricked up.

"You said he's nicer than Bush, well methinks what's nicer than Bush? Bushes are nicer than Bush and there are 72 virgin bushes that need attention!"

"What do you mean?" asked Nader.

"Use your head Ralphie" I said.

"Better still use something long, thin and pointed and I don't mean your nose!"