Queen Elizabeth II - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Dear diary

Well, would you believe it!

That awful one eyed Scotsman came around again today. He arrives on the doorstep every week. I don't know what makes him think he can be so familiar. I nearly set the corgis on him.

Anyway, there he was at the front door. lucky I'd just finished donkey stoning the step. I hate it when people come round and we're not 'just so'. I asked him in and made him a cup of tea. I would have offered him some biscuits, but I just sent the last of them to a nice charity that I have adopted. I'm not sure what they actually do, but I'm sure it's all good work. 'Noraid', I think they are called. Something like that, anyway.

Like I was saying, I gave the Scot some tea and smiled at him as he blathered on about unemployment and the state of the pound. I know nothing of unemployment, and as far as I remember, a pound is still sixteen ounces.

I hate poor people.