Queen Elizabeth II - My Fake Diary

Friday, 16 October 2009

Dear diary

Whatever happened to spangles?

I went down to Fat Kenny's news kiosk this morning for a copy of the Star, for Phil the Greek, and an OK magazine for me.

I just fancied some tot tots while I was there, but I'll be buggered if I could find any spangles. They were my favourite sweeties when I was normal, but I bet the swine in Brussels have outlawed them for being the wrong shape, or something.

Why oh why did we go into the EU? I was happy to just rule my little island nation of poor people. They always seemed so grateful.

I ended up having a curly wurly instead. It just wasn't the same.