Queen Elizabeth II - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Dear diary

Phil the Greek and I had to meet that awful Boris Johnson fellow today. What an oick!

He professes to be of royal lineage, but no one with blood as blue as ours would wear his hair in such a ridiculous mop. He also arrived at the Palace on a bicycle, of all things. The corgis went mental. It was all Phil the Greek and I could do to stop them ripping the poor man apart.

I will tell you what. If Big Ears had been home with his washing, Boris would have been ejected post haste; and his flipping bicycle as well.

I hate having the poor people round. It upsets one's regal equilibrium. Time for one's gin and tonic, methinks.