Queen Elizabeth II - My Fake Diary

Friday, 16 October 2009

Dear diary

Phil the Greek has upset the natives again. I wish he would think about what he is going to say before he opens his big fat gob.

Harry was round here again this morning, scrounging fags and cans of Stella. I told him there would be none left for Christmas at this rate. He is such a wag. I do love him and that devilishly attractive brother of his.

Anyway, Phil the G heard our conversation, and took it upon himself to stand on the balcony whilst hollering to strangers on the Mall that he require a case of Stella, and would someone go round to the 'Paki' shop for some.

I was mortified, and have been hiding out in the loo ever since. It's not so bad now that we have cleared up the mess that that terrible one eyed Scotsman left.