Queen Elizabeth II - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Dear diary

Terrible news, I'm afraid.

It transpires that Billy Connolly wasn't after all Vicky's 'bit on the side'. There was a John Brown, but he was, evidently, a slightly effete Kosovan, who never wore a kilt in his life.

Apparently He entered this country hanging underneath a horse drawn midden wagon. Mummy said he must have 'smelled like shit'. I loved mummy.

This has disappointed one slightly. I always fancy finding my own John Brown after Phil the Greek shuffles off this mortal coil.

Never mind. Back to the needlepoint.