Queen Elizabeth II - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Dear diary

That awful one eyed Scot left a terrible mess in the bathroom.

How it could get up there in the corners is beyond the wit of man. I think the poor man has a problem. You have to feel for him, poor oick! Not only is he common, but he has what I can only describe as a most inconvenient social disease.

I wonder if he shits through his ears.

I will have to ask Mummy. She will be visiting me in the early hours.

I love Mummy.