Osama bin Laden - My Fake Diary

Monday, 15 December 2008

Dear Diary,

Those Big Three auto CEO's in America have agreed to work for one dollar.

I they think that's a grand gesture, look at me! I am the wealthiest person in Afghanistan and I live in a cave.

The Taliban have been telling me to leave this area because it makes it harder for them to conduct their activities.

Where am I supposed to go, Switzerland?

Here the Taliban send me notes after the Americans cannot find me. I wonder about that. It's not like the Taliban have top of the line gadgets to find me.

For pete's sake, the Domino pizza boy finds us from time to time, especially when we first came here.

Wouldn't a pizza taste good right now? With extra mushrooms, cheese, roasted rat and lizard. Rat and Lizard?

See, I am going crazy. Here's bin Laden, America. Not mad, but just crazy. Maybe that has been Bush's plan all along.

He is succeeding.


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