Osama bin Laden - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 8 November 2008

Dear Diary,

These men, I do not know what to do with them. They are like the old Abbotts and Costellos. They will kill me before the enemy ever finds me. I have had the puking runs all night long as well as most of the men. You see, the cook grew weary of chasing down the rats now that they have caught on how to trigger the traps to get a small piece of lizard. So what does he do? He puts out rat poison.

So we will have to get a new cook. The present one we will put to cleaning our robes and he will get out every single brown and red spot if he is fond of his head. A head is useless on one who never uses it anyway.


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