Osama bin Laden - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 18 March 2009

Dear Diary

I'm still being sought after for my sons to have wives and visa versa so a counselor came alone today. He looked like he makes good money at this.

"Mr. bin Laden, look at this photo of my friend's daughter, isn't she a treat?"

So I looked. She appeared more like a trick.

"Why all the make-up?"

"Her natural beauty would hurt the eyes, so she must cover it up."

"And how much are they paying you? I have lost most of my money, living here in a cave."

"Oh, a small commission. I have already taken the step of asking your son, Ahmed over for dinner at the lady's house. They are quite well off as your son will tell you."

"I have heard from my son, already."

"Oh"

"He said that she is not bad looking and he was served a great meal. But he was wondering, if this family is well off, why did they eat off of paper plates with plastic utensils?"

"Oh uh......they had just moved, Sir, and they had to make do."

"Could they not borrow some silverware from their neighbors?"

"Well, I...."

"Well, I am waiting and I have little patience."

"But who would loan their best silverware to such a family of crooks?....Uhoh."

"Escort this man off the premises with the blindfold as usual, and, as usual, sitting naked on a pole!!"

I am growing weary. I must have 24 or 25 sons. Probably more daughters. Perhaps I should just surrender. Ah, well.

Binny