Osama bin Laden - My Fake Diary

Saturday, 14 March 2009

Dear Diary,

Sorry I have been gone. Actually, I have been very busy with my family. There are 50 wives and 195 children and though I was once a wealthy man, it is no longer so.

My enemies and my friends have taken most of it and the rest of it is divided up in many ways, or many wives...too many wives.

My wife Shaska says our older son, Rahib is wanting to marry and she passed along a letter by one of the men.

In the letter, he stated that he wanted a girl who was young, beautiful, come from a wealthy family who owned their own business who would give me an easy job.

I wrote him, "Rabib, you are my ugliest son and believe me, that took some doing, but if you think a young beautiful rich girl will marry you, a flatfaced hunchback, she would have to be crazy."

Today I got his reply.

"Osama, I don't mind if she is crazy, just as long as the other things apply."

So you see, 50 wives and idiot children can make you get behind in writing.

Asso...Also, I needed some more pages for toilet paper before this supply arrived.

Binny