Osama bin Laden - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 17 March 2009

I look a little fey in that latest video released yesterday. Oh well, they filmed it 6 months ago.

So Diary, the relatives saga continues.

I really shouldn't complain because my own father went through the same bullshite.

"The very best for my Osama", he'd say and one after another of the ugliest women on earth would parade before me.

It was because dear old dad was cheap. "The very best at the very lowest amount" he should have said.

Then one day he had a man bring his daughter who wore three layers of covering though her face was bare.

I was losing my temper by then. I said, I will not even consider her until I see her naked!

Her dad was outraged, but knowing my family had money he finally talked his daughter into disrobing.

So I studied her a long time and I finally say, "I do not like her, her nose is too big."

There was almost a family death duel.

My father threatened to cut me off without a cent.

So I agreed to see another. The father brought her and she was Yasser Arafat with breasts.

Then her father said, "I know she is no beauty but she has a speech impediment."

So I tell him, but that's another strike against her at least 14 others I could name.

So he says, "Her speech impediment is that she cannot say "NO".

She was my first wife.


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