Osama bin Laden - My Fake Diary

Monday, 13 April 2009

Dear Diarhea....Diary,

I know I've not written lately but there was a toilet paper shortage again and I must set an example and donated the last blank pages of my previous diary to more practical use.

It worked too because some of the men had treasured photographs they sacrificed.

Of course, a couple tried the hard leaves of some plants here, got infected and it looked like they had elephantitis of the ass until we had to put them down.

Anyone who "gets the ass" at Bin Laden or whatever leader gets put down. It's in the Koran, I'm sure...the hard to understand part.

Finally we got hold of some cheap dollar bills and used those until the big shipment of toilet paper arrived this morning. Everyone grabbed a roll and headed for cave #9, our new toilet.

There was standing room only.

The latest?

I don't know what we'll have to do to get anyone's attention with those hotsy-totsy pirates grabbing all the headlines.

I think most of these people still think or "Pirates" as romantic somehow. Too many of those silly old movies. Also, some recent funny ones.

What's so romantic about our group here begging for toilet paper?

I'm giving it much thought.

I have a headache.


We may

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