George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 27 November 2008

Turkey Day, 2008

Dear Diary,

W. Here. A lot of people out there keep wondering what my thoughts were during those seven minutes in 2001 at the kid's school after I was told about the NYC and Pentagon attacks.

First I was stunned. A stupid bodyguard had left a stun gun lying about and a kid had slipped up and shot me in the ass.

Next I checked my pants to see if there were any lumps.

Then I thought, "Where is the safest place to go if the whole nation is catching it?"

Finally I got distracted by Cheney calling and asking, "When can we loose the nuclar weapons? Can we launch yet? Can we launch yet?"

So I thought it would be prudent, as Dad says, to head back to Washington while it was still there.

W.