George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 30 November 2008

Dear Diary,

W. Here. Today I told reporters that I am right on top of this Indian invasion by terrorists.

I've sat here in the executive chair monitoring the movie "Gandi"

three times and getting phone calls on the hot line.

I'm also talking to some Bollywood execs and checking out their latest adventure flicks. Not bad at all, but no Chucky Norris in any of them as far as I can tell.

Maybe some higher up should fast like Gandi did. I could probably do it myself for two or three days after all this turkey and stuffing which was delicious, but I wish we could have gotten all the buckshot out of it, from Cheney's shotgun. Nearly broke a tooth.

Well, I'd better close for now. I see there's still more explosions going on...and...Wait a minute, this is a Bollywood movie.

Wonder if Chucky Norris COULD run over there and martial law them with martial arts. Maybe take that Rambo Stallone. I think they're both conservative.

Wish old Johnny Wayne were still alive. He was good with Indians. Also, this being a pilgrim festival of Thanksgiving, he'd particularly be pissed because he was always calling

everyone "Pilgrim".

I don't know...that looks like the real thing. I better call Cheney and see if this is a news report or a Bollywood movie.

W.