George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 6 October 2009

October, 2009

Dear Diary,

W. Here.

Poor old Tiger Woods.

Here he is at the top of his golf game and all people talk about is one fart he let slip.

They never even did that to me.

They were all so busy taking down notes on some of the things I said that I could fart, and usually did fart, and they'd never hear it.

Of course, I'd cover it up with a Texas yell!

I remember the Japanese got that all balled up and during a meeting if someone farted, they'd all do a Texas yell.

It was pretty hard getting anything done, between that and the Elvis kareokeee sessions.

The Chinese think farting is a way of emphasizing certain words.

Then there was the time Cheney taught me to say a few words in Russian to Pootin. He thought it a joke to teach me Klingon instead. I remember Pootin wiping the spit off his face and walking out.

W.