George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Monday, 15 June 2009

Dear Diary,

W.Here.

Got a letter from one of my fans who heard me make a speech in Canada with Billy Bob Clinton.

"Dear George Bush,

Would you come and do a speech for our laxatives salesmen in Paducah, Kentucky?

We need inspiration. We're all stopped up and need some inspiration. I had to go crap three times while you were speaking in Winnipeg.

We cover the whole western US and sales have been sluggish.

These salesmen need to hear a speaker who is full of it, I mean, inspiration wise.

Can you come speak to us? We'll be staying in Paducah, the Soho of the South but most of the day time, we'll be over on the gambling boat in Metropolis, Illinois.

If you can't come in person, send us a photograph and we'll blow that sucker up and make a poster and put it behind whoever is speaking."

Yours,
Chuck "Charles" Sapsucker

Isn't that great? I'm going to accept the invitation.

W.