George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 26 March 2009

Dear Diary,

W. Here.

We've got a new neighbor on the ranch that I'm a little concerned about. I've even had the secret service take a gander at his files but he has none.

Maybe he's one of those puds or clowns like that sheep they've created from a twin, a kind of dopperbanger, as the Germish say.

I dare not mention this in public as they would say old George has lost it completely.

I have news for them. Old George never had it in the first place.

Anyway, yesterday I was weedwhacking and I heard the guy's voice talking about those "Idiot lying squirrels!". Who was he talking to anyway? Nobody was with him that I could see.

Plus, as far as I know and I'm no expert on wildlife, I've found squirrels pretty truthful, though a little nutty. Snort! That's a good one. Must remember to tell it to Cheney. He'll laugh even if I screw it up. hee hee

(Later) He's still over there talking to somebody named "Vern", asking if he knew what he meant.

Maybe Vern's the squirrel and they've patched things up.

Still scary.

W.


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