George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 17 March 2009

Dear Diary,

W. Here.

I hate to admit it but I got lost on the ranch again today while I was riding my segway.

I was deep in thought and must have not realized I had crossed the highway.

Suddenly there I was in among the Compounded Mormonites. I tried to explain that I was a former president but I don't think they believed me.

Then they brought me a couple of women and said they could be my wives but I told them I was already married.

They said that was OK, these two would be #2 and #3.

I told them that Laura would shove a #45 in my face if I brought home two more wives.

After an hour of negotiating and yelling for Cheney and then for Mama, I finally escaped when there was a loud bell and they all lined up and were going inside.

Looked kinda like those people in The Time Machine movie.

Maybe they were Morelocks instead of Mormons.

I don't care what they are, I'm keeping my mind on what I'm doing from now on.

Now then, where was I?

Oh well, I'll start fresh next time.

W.