George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Tuesday, 10 March 2009

W. Here. Again.

Dear Diary,

Looks like I screwed that up but it's in ink. Screw it!

Mama called since my last entry and forbid me going on an overseas speech tour.

Probably thinks a shoe-bomber will hurl one next time.

Said I might get hung.

Reminds me, a lot of people have asked me why they hanged Saddam Hussein?

"Wouldn't it be more humaner to have put him in an electric chair?"

Listen, the power grid in Iraq was so bad he would have had to sit there and sizzle for two days in his own waste.

So, despite Cheney's pleas, we told them to hang the sucker. That was one time I overruled Cheney.

That was back during the brownie and chocolate pie incidents that were never revealed to the public but I bet they wondered why so many of us sat during interviews...or suddenly got up and ran.

Told them I was staying in shape.

I'd yell: "Terrorist Alert!" and head for the john.

W.