George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Friday, 27 February 2009

Dear Diary,

W. Here.

Well I'm ready to hit the old speaking circuit in about another week. Got my stuff all written out and ready.

Actually, I began writing the stuff out over a year ago but who's to know? hee hee

I'll pull down over a $100,000 even if I botched some words.

In fact, I'm planning to do it on purpose.

You see, I tried it out on a bunch of old friends and I actually got an applause for my misannouned words. Then, when I hit them with nuckulur, it brought a standing ovation!

This is great. Shouldn't have ran that second term. You get to be president, what do you need to be president again for?

Oh yeah, another prop....are you ready for this? I'm going to hand out cardboard shoes at the entrance.

I'm also having t-shirts printed up to sell that say, "IRAN? We Dodged A Shoe There!" with a picture of me dodging one of those in Iraq.

Sell then for $30 each.

No wonder Bill Clinton and Al Gore are out there.

Wish I had a gimmick like Al Gore found in that globular warming crap after he left the VP office.

Wonder what Cheney's doing? Probably fake a heart attack at the end.

W.