George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Sunday, 22 February 2009

Dear Diary,

W. Here.

I see where that airlines stopped those all nude flights. I never thought that would work out. Of course a bunch of old farts showed up in their all-together, eye-balling any young ladies.

It finally got down to mostly old people, the younger ones were getting sick and using those barf bags.

Now that I'm no longer President, I can read all I want. Got eight years of Mad Magazines to catch up on. I even laugh at the cartoons and stuff about me.

Wonder what Osama will do if that extra 10,000 troops don't help in Afghanistan? I never could figure those people out. I don't think any two get along.

Plus, they were always looking for excuses to grow poppy to sell for opium. I had both Colin and Condi talk themselves blue in the face. They told them that their poppy farms were killing people all over the world.

They'd explain that if they didn't grow poppy, they'd have no money to buy food for their families.

Then why don't you grow vegetables to feed your families?

I mean, even I could figure that one out. hee hee

Then you'd get a shrug and they would grow a few veggies but out somewhere were the poppies growing.

Last night on the news, Stepinwhatsisass was saying that he expected me to issue more pardons than I did and he counted them off.

I listened closely and you know what? He left out all eight Thanksgiving turkeys.

Miss my Al Gore doll. "OOOOOHHH NOOOO!"

Had to tell Laura I was trying to clear my throat. Didn't realize that I had said that aloud.

W.