George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 25 February 2009

Dear Diary,

W.Here.

Watched Osama's televised speech tonight on the television he called "We Are Not Quiters". Not bad, but I gave a speech by the same name in my first term, but got it all balled up and stated, "We are not quilters!" Then panicked and restated "We are the world's leading quilters!"

Got Mama to blame for that lulu as she kept talking to Laura about a quilt while I was practicing my speech.

Then Osama got mixed up himself by saying we were the ones to invent the automobile. That was the Germans. Now We were the ones to build the big 8 MPG trucks.

Perhaps he meant that Gerald Ford was the first to invent the assembly line to mass produce the automobiles.

Then there was that old chestnut of projecting 10 years ahead and us saving $2 trillion dollars. We've all used that one. Project anything ten years ahead and you could say, "We'll all be rich" and it might come true.

But, unless we shake down Oprah, it won't.

W.