George W. Bush - My Fake Diary

Wednesday, 18 February 2009

Dear Diary,

W. Here.

For some reason I woke up in a really good mood. Ready to go out there and ride my bike and whack some weeds and came back in all chipperooni and made love to my wife.

She asked me what had got into me and I joked and said, what got into YOU? hee hee

Then she too said she felt great.

First of all I thought maybe it was all that relief of being out of the public eye. Not being able to go take a whiz without someone wanting to know about the Mideast situation.

Many times I almost said, "I feel pissed." I need to get into the bathroom, but I didn't. No telling how that would be criticized by George Steppinwhatshisass.

That little fart left Clinton's group to go give impartial views on the ABC News. Impartial, my happy ass!

And, come to think of it, my ass is happy.

Then suddenly it hit me. The STIMULUS package had been signed by the new president, Balack Osama!

Hope the rest of the people felt stimulated.

Trouble is, you're not going to be stimulated paying for this over the next twenty years.

Whoops! Now I'm down. Oh, I'll probably be dead anyway. Let the girls figure it out.

W.