Donald Trump - My Fake Diary
Saturday, 23 July 2016
The new wig is much more Presidential. If only it didn't take me five hours each morning to get on just right. And the dozen bottles of hair spray I use on it every morning are starting to make me short of breath. I think after I'm President, I'll just skip the wig. Maybe I can get my butt hairs transplanted up there. Nah, Melania likes to grab them.
Or maybe I'll just delegate the job to Pence so I can do my hair all day.