Dick Cheney - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 23 August 2012

Dear Diary,

I write to you because nobody else will listen. But, first, let me tell you I resent being called "Dick" instead of Richard. I mean, the name "Dick" is disrespectful for anybody as important as I am. "Rick" okay maybe, for people who know me. But compare the name King Dick the Second. How does that sound? Or King Dick the III, with whom I've been favorably compared several times.

Well, I need to get around to what I'm doing now with my new job at the asylum. The short name for this place is the DMTD, which must mean "demented," right? (Officially, it stands for Del Mar Treatment Department). I want to talk about the problems I'm having-to somebody! I mean nobody listens to me anymore. But right now my white smock has a tear in it, and I'm going to sit down with needle and thread the way mother taught me.