Boris Johnson - My Fake Diary

Thursday, 1 March 2012

Had a dream last night that i was in Dallas and I was a famous oil baron and I wore a ten gallon hat that covered my foppish blonde hair and I had a neat glass of vodka permanently in my hand.

I did a whopping great deal which made billions(!) and then shagged my secretary and two other women I met at the oil barons ball where I also had a fight with cliff Barnes who looked a lot like Ken Livingstone.

Then I got shot, and died, but I came back to life in the shower(!) And despite being an oil baron, I still cycled to work every morning.

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