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Thursday, 21 July 2011

image for Bernie Ecclestone and Rupert Murdoch to sort out Africa

Billionaire pensioners Rupert Murdoch and Bernie Ecclestone have teamed up in a joint initiative to help ease the growing crisis in Africa.

Global media baron Rupert Murdoch, who is expected to pick up the multi-million-pound tab for compensating News Of The World phone hacking victims, has described being told off by MP's as "the most humble day of my life."

But 80 year old Murdoch intends to make amends for being an annoying old sod by donating his hefty fine to the famine and drought victims of Somalia.

"As part of a new Sky package, millions of potential customers in the most stricken parts of Somalia are to be given massive subsidies to purchase a super speedy internet connection.
This will enable the poorest Africans to watch streamed live Premiership football and chat to each other on Facebook" announced Murdoch's Public Relations person Dave Cameron.

Formula One chief executive Bernie Ecclestone is also on the 'naughty step' after being accused of paying £27.3 million in bribes to German private equity firm CVC Capital Partners.

81 year old Bernie, who is suspected by the Munich state prosecutor of being "someone named Bernard E" on disguised documents, is hoping to avoid being put on trial after claiming he is too short to see over the dock.

But despite being innocent, Bernie is prepared to match Rupert Murdoch's humanitarian gesture and divert the multi million pound fine he might receive to help benefit African punters of Formula One.

Bernie, a former second hand car salesman, has offered to put Africa at the map by building a racetrack that is good enough to host the proposed Somalian Grand Prix.

"I have just come back from Nigeria after successfully sorting out the finance" announced Ecclestone's Public Relations person Dave Cameron.

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