Written by b kenneth mcgee
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Topics: Rupert Murdoch

Wednesday, 20 July 2011

The world was riveted to their television sets yesterday to the testimony of James and Rupert Murdoch. Many were comparing it to the character Colonel Klink on the series, Hogan's Heroes. A reporter from The Guardian said in a faux German accent, "It was like they knew nossing, saw nossing, heard nossing. It was a remarkable performance!"

A journalist from the BBC reports seeing the Murdoch's walk into the hearing room. He states Rupert Murdoch was walking briskly and chatting energetically with his aides before getting to the door when an aide handed him a cane. He stooped over and crept into the hearing room. As he hobbled to his chair a slight bit of spittle started to run down his chin and the aide helped him to his seat. "He seemed to wilt before our eyes," said the journalist. "He seemed confused, bewildered, and totally unaware of what was going on around him. Amazing!"

As the hearings continued throughout the day, the Murdochs took no responsibility for any actions at their media outlets claiming that all wrong doing sthe fault of d rogue employees. When a member of parliament asked Rupert why he had appointed Rebekah Brooks as a top executive in his media empire, Rupert responded, "Did you see that hair?!"

"I beg your pardon, Mr. Murdoch, "Did you say, did I see that hair?"

Murdoch's hands started to shake slightly as if palsied and he replied, "The hair! The hair! Did you see the hair!?"

The member of parliament turned to James Murdoch. "Can you answer the question Mr. Murdoch Why did you entrust your publication to someone so clearly unqualified, in terms of ethics and practices, for the job?"

James Murdoch replied, "Did you see the hair?"

As the world watched, the hearing continued on in the same fashion for most of the day. At the end Rupert crept to the door on his cane with the help of his son. After reaching the exit he broke into a trot, did a short pas de deux with James and chatted with his entourage.

When Rebekah Brooks entered the room and took her seat, a member of the committee turned to an associate and was heard to say, "The hair! Do you see the hair!?"

Ms. Brooks began her opening statement to the committee, "I saw nossing! I heard nossing! I say nossing!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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