Written by Tommy Twinkle
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Wednesday, 20 July 2011

image for Britain's Minister of Austerity Sacked!
Bored and would welcome a change.

Sir Peregrine Partridge-Greenwelly, who was made Britain's first ever Minister of Austerity just a few days ago has now been sensationally sacked by Prime Minister David Cameron after he was was summoned to number 10 last night to explain to the Prime Minister why he had not mentioned the fact that he owned several large coconut plantations abroad.

The Prime Minister had earlier approved Sir Partridge-Greenwelly's suggestion that one initial idea to save people money in these difficult times of austerity would be to encourage them to eat more coconuts as the shells could then be used as soup dishes, knee pads, and for Jewish people as skull caps when attending their synagogues.

Mr Cameron, approving the suggestion in good faith, was later to learn that several large coconut plantations were owned by the Minister of Austerity. The Prime Minister's suspicions that the motive behind the promotion of coconuts might be less than a sincere and genuine desire to help people get through these difficult times then grew following investigation showing they'd been losing money since the gradual disappearance of fairgrounds all across Europe from the middle of the l960's.

It has also been rumoured that several Liberal MP's had raised questions behind the scenes about the Minister of Austerity's proposal to drop the 'M' from the title of Minister.

The name of the person who will be replacing Sir Peregrine Partridge-Greenwelly as Minister of Austerity is expected to be announced some time next week. It is known that William Hague, inheritor of 'Hague's Cardboard Box Company' would like to be considered for the job. He has grown bored with his current Ministerial position and has told David Cameron he would welcome a change.

Mr Hague feels he has many money-saving ideas he could suggest to the public - not all involving cardboard.

Though Sir Peregrine Partridge-Greenwelly is no longer the Minister of Austerity the government make it absolutely clear the coconut ideas remain fundamentally sound and say the public should still give the innovative suggestions put forward by Partridge-Greenwelly serious thought in the terrible times ahead.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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