Scientists have revealed that levels of bile and vitriol are at an all time high in this country, since the closure of the News of the World.
According to his most recent research, Professor Heinz Fifty-Seven we are a generally a more unpleasant country since the closure of the News of the World.
"It would seem that whatever people thought of its unpleasant views, its right wing stance, and way of interfering in the lives of people who were more morally upstanding," the professor explained, "it still served a very useful purpose. It soaked up the hate of the world."
Prof. Fifty-Seven said that while the Daily Mail has largely the same effect, only right wing people, or those who are prepared to give up on the good things in life take the Daily Mail seriously as a reputable news delivery medium these days.