After a four day manhunt, police in Suffolk discovered distressed Arthur Hann, 61, of Wickambrook wandering around in a circle in a field. Apparently Mr Hann had left home on Monday lunchtime with his metal detector in order to follow his hobby.
Newcastle Utd, one of the biggest football clubs in the world ever to have suffered such disappointment in a Premier League season, have been buoyed by the selflessness of their manager, the Right Reverend Kevin Keegan.
Arsenal Football Club, one of the top clubs in Europe and only slightly less big than Newcastle Utd, are in disarray as manager Arsene Wenger is hospitalised for 'the total and complete loss of all facial expression'.
In a shock military move yesterday, Britain's elite special forces, The Special Air Services Forces, annexed the southern state of Florida in the United States.
In a further surprise move Newcastle Utd Managing Director, Christopher Death, has appointed Dennis Morecambe as Chief Assistant Director to the Director of Football, Dennis Wise.
In a sensational last minute signing just before the transfer deadline, Newcastle Utd have replaced the legendary Alan Shearer with a name that will surely rank among the most famous of them all; tomorrow Rooney will undergo a medical at St James'...
Former Sunderland and Man City midfielder Mick Horswill has been arrested and remanded in custody tonight in Sunderland for 'just being too fucking ugly'...
In a shock move designed to shore up Newcastle's leaking defence, Kevin Keegan has signed ace centre back Freddie Shepherd (63).
Kevin Keegan, the latest manager of one of the finest and best supported football clubs in the entire world, Newcastle Utd, is reportedly seeing the club doctor this morning after having what he himself has described as 'a strange green poo'.
Alan Shearer has revealed a well-kept secret during his talks with Kevin Keegan, pleading for a top job at possibly the greatest football club in the world. The secret? Well namely that he is in fact a professionally-trained opera singer.
The annual footballers bug C Diffisule Flatteroidalitis has hit record levels this January transfer window. Numerous soccer players and an increasing number of their agents have been reported as suffering from the symptoms.
Chelsea Manager Avram Grant was unavailable for comment tonight after the sudden death of his beloved black overcoat, Alan.
A Bill has been presented to the House of Commons that will have the effect of abolishing the City of Sunderland on the north east coast of England.
In a new twist to the debate on post sixteen education, students are to have diplomas and certificates delivered to their homes.
In a horrific incident in the centre of possibly the greatest city in the whole world, Newcastle upon Tyne, a bus load of young children from a nursery school just east of Heaton Manor, overturned and burst into flames. At least fifteen children age...
Rock superstar and reality TV personality Ozzy Osbourne has surprised fans, friends and family by taking on a McDonald's franchise in Consett, County Durham.
114,000 Geordies packed into St James Park, Newcastle - probably one of the greatest football stadiums in the entire world, last Thursday to see legendary goal scorer Alan Shearer give an outstanding demonstration of flower arranging.
Kevin Keegan was sensationally sacked as NUFC Manager tonight for farting in the foyer of St James's Park.
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