Written by Cobden Stewart
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Saturday, 16 February 2008

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Arthur Went Round in Circles

After a four day manhunt, police in Suffolk discovered distressed Arthur Hann, 61, of Wickambrook wandering around in a circle in a field. Apparently Mr Hann had left home on Monday lunchtime with his metal detector in order to follow his hobby.

"Normally I get results quite quickly, I've found coins, tin openers, tins and some more coins. Only last week I found a 1936 penny inside a Heinz Baked Beans tin. This time I got a very strong signal from my detector. It was quite an unusual signal. It suggested there was metal very near, but when I moved closer the signal sent me back where I had just been. This went on and on. I just lost track of time. I did feel a bit dizzy."

Dr Trevor Foyland, expert metal detectorist, warned of the dangers.

"These low budget metal detectors can easily detect themselves because they are made of metal. If they do they go crazy. Keen detectorists think they're onto something big"

Arthur was released from hospital after a checkup.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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