Written by Cobden Stewart
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Topics: Death, Chelsea FC

Saturday, 19 January 2008

image for Avram Grants' Coat Dies
Avram Grant Mourns his Black Overcoat

Chelsea Manager Avram Grant was unavailable for comment tonight after the sudden death of his beloved black overcoat, Alan.

Grant had watched a tense match at Birmingham and was seen extremely agitated towards the end of the game as Chelsea hung on for a 1 - 0 win. Suddenly Grant's shoulder's appeared to shudder and he slumped onto his knees, yelling in Yiddish "Ma coat!" Ma coat!".

"Is there a tailor in the ground?" said the announcer.

Two bespectacled gentlemen came running around the ground and a lady seamstress helped out too. After checking the coat they all shook their heads sadly.

"It's gone" said Patrick Cunningham, master tailor of New Road, Birmingham.

It is believed Alan will be cremated next Wednesday and there will be one minutes applause at Chelsea's next home game.

"Avram loved that coat" commented Chelsea striker Patricia Stittlehouse.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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