Written by Cobden Stewart
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Topics: Ugly, Sunderland

Thursday, 31 January 2008

image for Micky Horswill Arrested for Being Ugly
Micks Dad Norbert Horswill Hurries to His Son's Aid

Former Sunderland and Man City midfielder Mick Horswill has been arrested and remanded in custody tonight in Sunderland for 'just being too fucking ugly'

Mr Horswill was travelling south on the A19 when he was seen by a Northumbria Police squad car, looking directly out of the drivers window of his Ford Fiesta 1.1.

"I can confirm that Michael Horswill has been taken into custody tonight and is currently in consultation with his cosmetic surgeon. Under the provisions of the Ugly People's Act 1912, Mr Horswill can not be allowed to be seen on public highways"

Since his cup final appearance in 1973 Horswill is known to have aged quite a few years. His ginger nut, his massive forehead and his peculiar looking jaw line have all been known to stop clocks, frighten the birds and cause grown men to weep.

Mr Horswill's girlfriend William is said to be on her way to the station to insist that he is not released tonight.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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