A Bill has been presented to the House of Commons that will have the effect of abolishing the City of Sunderland on the north east coast of England.
Local M.P. for Newcastle, Didier Drogba, commented "It's about time people realised that Sunderland is completely irrelevant now that Newcastle upon Tyne is established as the greatest city in the whole world"
Sunderland has for years been regarded as merely the arsehole of Tyneside, by Geordie's. "Newcastle has more nightclubs, more pubs, bigger and better shops, one of the best football clubs in the world with the best fans in the world...and His Royal Highnesses Shearer and Keegan" said local Geordie Mr Albert Shithole M.B.E
"The Metro system was never intended for Sunderland and that is why we insist that people can only travel along the Tyne" Said Mr Drogba.
"This BIll will simply establish what we know already. Sunderland is shit in comparison and I'd like to thank referee Steve Bennett for disallowing that Sunderland goal against Villa the other week"