The blind - and some say dead - pianist Ray Charles has signed terms with Manchester United.
A strange new disease is sweeping through acting circles, causing stars from all over the globe to speak in stereotypical German accents. The mysterious illness, known as Vott Haff Ve Here? Syndrome, was first observed in Hollywood, immediately follo...
The Conservative leader David Cameron is attempting the world's first solo swim to the Arctic, it was revealed yesterday. The announcement was made at a press conference, arranged by the right-wing 'Tories For Swimming To The Arctic Circle...
Vice-President Dick 'Peace, Love And Underfunding' Cheney is to have the world's first species change. Speaking from his hospital bed last night, Cheney revealed that:...
David Cameron has hired fictional character Willy Wonka to lead the party to victory at the next election.
Arnold Schwarzenegger's secret is out - he's actually a wig salesman called Ridley Violin.
The England manager, McLaren, has FORGOTTEN that he's McLaren, according to sources.
The new leader of the Liberal Democrats is a poltergeist, which was ejected from of of the Scottish Nationalist Party for throwing pans at 'loud supremo' Alex Salmond.
The comet-haired physics teacher, Stanlonso Del Van Der Graaf Barber Shop Quintet Nucyulus-Sharpe, also known as Sweeney, WAS in the cupboard with Fambly, it was claimed a hundred years ago. And last night.
White House chiefs were this evening attempting to underplay the arrest of President Bush, who was last night found eating a bowl of snots at a restaurant in the Bronx.
The former chancellor of the exchequer, Norman Lamont, is to head a new Conservative push for victory at the next election, with the launch of a 'kink-tank' designed to motivate traditional - yet 'liberal-minded' - Tory voters.
The Tory leader David Cameron has announced that he is signing for Manchester United, as well as playing drums in a reformed Led Zeppelin, and in addition is joining Robbie and the lads in a 'New Take That'.
The Conservative leader David Cameron today slammed the government's ban on farting in public places.
Simply Red's vocalist Mick Hucknall has been using a ventriloquist for years, it was claimed last night.
The Big Brother housemates had a lie-in yesterday, following Friday's heated discussion about the existence of God and the fundamentals of humanistic morality.
The multinational energy supplier FrankensteinPower now owns 98% of the British energy market, and plans to 'take over the world' by 2008, according to a report leaked today.
The world-famous spiritual guru and eminent psychic Dr Krushchev T Zygote today revealed to an astonished world that EVERYTHING is "crap".
The government has been rocked by a sensational spy scandal, with former MI5, MI6 and Rotherham United goalkeeper Marilyn 29 being named as the 'mole' at the centre.
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