Alarmed by sickening poll figures and fearing the upcoming November election, the Bush White House has formulated a prescription for success called: ER For Bush Polls. Though not running for public office, the President's men suspect that the com...
RIGEL - Monday, on the as-yet unnamed seventh planet of the giant blue star Rigel, extremely rare circumstances allowing the eventual rise of humanity were set into motion after God, Creator of All Eternity, "lost his robes" at the craps ta...
Wash., D. C. -- To celebrate the 20th anniversary of his 1986 special on the opening of Al Capone's secret vault, TV personality Geraldo Rivera will be hosting a show to reveal to the world the contents (recently seized by the FBI) from the offi...
For several years the U.S. Department of Agriculture has been promoting a program called NAIS, the National Animal Identification System. The program has as its centerpiece the insertion of a RFID chip into every animal located on a farm, moving bet...
Washington, DC -- In an effort to reduce the US trade imbalance with China President Bush has authorised the sale of opium to China. The introduction of opium to the Chinese people is expected to provide the Chinese with a consumer item they must bu...
London -- (Associated Mess): Downing Street hit back at maverick Euro-Septic Respect Party MP George Galloway today by stating unequivocally that it would be "morally justified" for one of Cherie's personal hit-men to "take out&...
Moline, Indiana -- The unmarked, gunmetal grey 18-wheelers which began a two week period of constant comings and goings in early January, 2003, did arouse the suspicions of some of the residents of the "Grande Finale Trailer Village". The Vill...
Ann Arbor, MI -- Security at book retail giant Borders has received a boon from the federal government this week amid calls by President Bush to further strengthen Borders nationwide. At a press conference last week, President Bush announced that he...
Ireland- Residents of the small town of Killala, Co Mayo, were left to mourn the tragic death of yet another 110 year old man in a road accident.
A leading cardinal has urged Christians to take legal action against the best-selling book The Di Caprio Code, along with the recent film adaptation currently attracting enormous crowds at box offices across the world.
Washington DC - (Associated Mess): In a bravura performance worthy of the ultimate accolade from the American Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, Nobel Peace Prize nominees Tony Blair and George Bush last night blagged their way out of the...
VATICAN CITY, MAY 25 Pope Benedict XVI today issued a "monitum," described by a Vatican official as "an admonition, guidance for the faithful," detailing how Roman Catholics can watch the hit film The DaVinci Code while minim...
Houston, Texarse - (Associated Mess): The ENRON corruption trial reached a dramatic climax today as the jury in Houston announced a unanimous guilty verdict on defendants Ken Lay and Jeff Skilling, ordering that each should receive 10,000 lashes fo...
Mrs Mills- McCartney is said to be distraught over the split "He has been my crutch for so long!!" She said in an earlier briefing, "I have no idea why this has happened, I'm stumped"...
Alarmed by breaking news of "Bird Flu Armageddon" President Bush declared open war on all fowl, feathered critters and any thing below the clouds with a beak.
Telecoms giant BT has today (Wedendsday) joined wiv influuenshal consumer groups, parliamentarianians and fowsands of UK customers in calling for the tellecoms industry to put an end to the continuing problem of tellecoms mis-spelling.
Downing Street, London SW1 - (ReUterus & Associated Mess): The Prime Minister's official spokesman confirmed this morning that the original copy of the famous 2002 WMD 'Dodgy Dossier' has been autographed by the PM's wife Cherie who...
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