Enforcement Droid ED-209 Kills Company Executive In Horrific Demonstration

Funny story written by Nick Hobbs

Tuesday, 31 May 2011

image for Enforcement Droid ED-209 Kills Company Executive In Horrific Demonstration
A prototype of OCP's Robo-Cop project, the possible successor to the flawed ED-209 system. Well Bob Morton hopes so...

ED-209, the futuristic police Enforcement Droid designed and operated by OCP, today went berserk and killed a high ranking company executive.

The board meeting was going well, when Senior President Dick Jones demonstrated his latest creation, the ED-209 urban pacification droid.

Jones sought a volunteer to enact a crime, to show off ED-209's policing skills. Doug Kinney was selected, as he was sitting nearest the door.

However, Mr Kinney, a long time member of the board, could not foresee what was to come.

Pointing a weapon at the droid, he was immediately told to drop it by ED-209. But upon doing this, the droid continued it's countdown.

"You have X seconds to comply' that's what it kept repeating as it counted down" said shocked eyewitness Mary Burgermorton, secretary to Mr Jones.

Mr Kinney attempted to hide behind several members of the board, as scientists randomly yanked various wires out of the control panel, in an attempt to shut the unit down, but it was futile.

The droid emptied 'a considerable portion' of it's ammunition in to Kinney, killing him instantly, and ruining a rather splendid scale model of the city in the process.

Kinney's body was left on the table bleeding from multiple entry and exit wounds, as the smoking droid was removed from the building for analysis.

Omni Consumer Products CEO told us he was 'very disappointed' by the whole affair, and that they would be suspending work on the ED-209 system for the foreseeable future, and concentrating on other avenues of their Robotic Police Enforcement program.

An internal investigation continues.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more