Icelandic Volcano Lands a Three-Picture Deal… Spielberg Signs Grimsvotn to Erupt with Laughter

Funny story written by Michael Balton

Sunday, 29 May 2011

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Spielberg hopes to turn lava into box office gold.

An obscure Icelandic mountain has captured the imagination of Hollywood executives. The volcano Grimsvotn has been signed by a major studio to star in three feature films scheduled to be produced this year.

"It's not everyday you find an artist who is both a star and a special effect," said Bobby Spielberg, an executive producer for A Major Studio, Inc. "We expect Grimsvotn to blow the top off the box office three times next year. Take that, Paramount!"

The three properties in which the geological feature will be featured have already been developed. The studio has released plot lines for the three proposed titles…

- Kiss My Ash - An obscure Icelandic mountain moves in with a garbage dump after being kicked out of its range by an angry ex-wife. The resulting conflict causes the mountain to erupt into a volcano and make a mess of a linguine dinner.

- Honey, I Shrunk The Economy - An obscure Icelandic mountain disrupts all European air travel by erupting into a volcano and sprewing tons of ash into the atmosphere. That sets the dominoes in motion which eventually crush the European economy and lead to another recession. But the mountain saves the day by revitalizing the European domino industry.

- Pardon The Int-Eruption - An obscure Icelandic mountain signs with Hollywood executives to play the part of Vesuvius in a remake of The Pompeii Follies. Great zaniness ensues as the mountain actually erupts into a real volcano.

Spielberg believes Grimsvotn will be the next big thing. "What do people like most about the Harry Potter films?" Spielberg asked. "The magic! And in Harry Potter it's not even real. A volcano can do real magic. I've seen this one make my flight disappear, and I hear it can cause an entire city to vanish. The kids are going to love it."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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