Zach Galifianakis Voted World's Sexiest Man

Funny story written by P.M. Wortham

Sunday, 22 May 2011

image for Zach Galifianakis Voted World's Sexiest Man
Galifanakis in Costume

Topping the list by three separate women's polling groups, Zack Galifanakis, one of the stars of the hot new movie "Hangover II", was surprisingly voted as the world's sexiest man.

Beating out other recurring list toppers like Brad Pitt, Johnny Depp and even Galifanakis's co-star, Bradley Cooper, the bearded and uni-browed shopping bag full of lard and watermelons apparently carries other desirable qualities that appeal to some women. "He's simply a teddy bear", says Wanda Doumi, President of the Women's Video Game Association and publisher of one of the polls. "This is a man you can cuddle up and not mind that he's dropping half of his popcorn down between the sofa cushions".

Other women's groups agree to Galifanakis's ranking, but for different reasons. "We voted Zack as Sexiest Man Alive because he would always stay focused on you as his date", says Ivanna Humpageak from the Hungarian Society of Women Engineers. "There's never any worry about another woman stealing your Zack away from you".

"We agree with that assessment and add one more criteria", says Roberta Haafcock. "Those Hollywood boys today are just too skinny. Give me a guy with a sense of humor and some serious love handles, and I'll show you one fun roller coaster ride. That's why we voted Galifinakis number one". Haafcock's Sexiest Man survey was also sent out worldwide. Chairwoman of the International Association of Transgendered Architects, Haafcock added, "Zack is just an adorable little hairy bear, and you can just call me Bob until the surgery is complete".

Galifanakis could not be reached for comment.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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