Future News: Britain's Got Talent Panel Replaced by JudgeBots

Funny story written by Inhopeless

Saturday, 14 May 2011

(Published 2016) LONDON URBEM - After the Great Media Crash of 2012, many studios are cutting back.

ITV's Britain's Got Talent is no different. This year, the show will replace the judges on the panel with Panasonic JudgeBots, running Google's Android for Bots OS.

"Advances in low-level artificial intelligence," said a spokesman for Panasonic, "have allowed us to simulate robots with sensory perception, knowledge storage and other useful things. After tests on the bots allowed them to match the sneering condescension of many TV judges, we've actually managed to tweak these bots to work perfectly in TV shows like BGT and X-Factor."

Already the three BGT JudgeBots have shown at auditions in Cardiff that they can even be patronising using 1024-bit alogorithm hardware, and according to many contestants, a single one has the IQ of the three human judges last year.

"I went on last year," said one contenstant. "The humans were always beating around the bush, but these Bots are amazingly quick. Just hearing 0.5 seconds of my act they sent me away."

Some people are not so happy.

"It sucks," said the Comptroller for Televisual Radio, "what if they gain so much knowledge that they could take over the role of Big Brother contestants? Sorry, that'd be downgrading. What if they upgrade their firmware and find that they can emulate mid-afteroon day time TV? That would be terrible."

"Don't worry," said a statement from Google. "The firmware will automatically disable the JudgeBots if they show signs of empathy."


Do you want a bigger TV? Get a TV enlargement! You'll make your woman a happy bunny, and your friends will be put to shame!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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