Medicine distributed to end radiation sickness

Funny story written by Aspartame Boy

Sunday, 20 March 2011

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Death is precious in a plutonium bedlam

TOKYO - According to an anonymous source inside the Japanese Self Defense forces, the government has begun distribution of packets of a powder to be mixed with water and ingested by terminal radiation victims.

According to the source, this is prompted by the pressure rise in Fukushima reactor 3. There is no way to stop the pressure from eventually releasing huge amounts of plutonium that will sicken millions of people. The slow painful death is something to be avoided at all cost.

The powder, when mixed with water, produces a sweet tasting poison that quickly kills the brain. The contents of the packet:

  1. Natural lemon flavor
  2. Citric acid
  3. Artificial color
  4. 3 ounces of aspartame

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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